Fake History Lesson
Fake history lessons are used by Barney Stinson to prove his point and sometimes ends with the phrase "True Story". Sometimes the gang, especially Ted, try to stop him but fails as Barney goes on, which his friends don't really mind as they enjoy hearing the lessons almost as much as Barney likes teaching them. Episodes When Ted is reluctant to cooperate with Barney's plan to pick up women at the airport by putting bags on a carousel, Barney begins telling "a really long speech convincing you to put the bags on the carousel": "Since the dawn of time, man has struggled..." Ted quickly puts the bags on the carousel to stop Barney from talking. When Barney explains the history of the Bro Code in year 1776 in Philadelphia, where Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were having a drink where they fought for a girl. They came to a conclusion that a set of rules for bros called the Bro Code will be made and written by Barnabus Stinson (the Barney of that era). Barney did not say "True Story" for this story. Barney claims that Jesus invented the three days rule before calling a girl after getting her number by waiting three days between his death and resurrection, after which he invented the high five. Barney tells imaginary Jim Nantz that "Mustache Pete Drexel" in 1896 is the only person to have achieved a perfect week sexually and a perfect game in baseball. Barney explains how the "hottest profession of the time" changed throughout history. Barney tells Ted about the importance of Dibs, saying that it was created by Sir Walter Dibs. He began the explanation with, "the S.S. Dibs was lost at sea-" but is interrupted by Ted. When the gang is talking about last words, Barney said Nathan Hale's last words was "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country." but his real last words were "I peed in my pants." Barney explains Desperation Day as the day before Valentines Day where every woman wants a date on Valentines Day and would try desperately to find one before that, hence Desperation Day. Barney says that if you don't want a date on Valentines Day you have to get home alone by 11.59pm. Barney uses ancient Rome as reference where weddings are forbidden and Saint Valentine performed them in secret under threat of death which Ted says is true what Barney is going to say next won't be. Barney says that beside Saint Valentine was Saint Desperatius there to pick up insecure bridesmaids. John Clifford Larrabee, architect of The Arcadian, visits Ted in a dream. Ted thinks that Barney has (again) rented a costume and broken into his apartment in the middle of night; that it is not a fake history lesson amazes him. Barney states that a broken Broath dates back to Ancient Bro-man Times where Brotus swore a Broath with Caesar that he would tell him if a group of people were conspiring to assassinate him. Just after the Broath was made a group of ninjas came out and try to kill Caesar who beats them up and killed Brotus for betraying him. Barney says in the end that after that he banged a hundred chicks and invented a salad. ''The Broken Code'' Barney explains a different history of The Bro Code where the Broses established Article 1 of the Bro Code "Bros before ho's". He also stated it was brought back to the New World in 1977 by "Christopher Bro-lumbus" who recited Article 61 "A Bro who calls dibs first always gets dibs". Barney made a story about his Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir which was ripped off by Franklin D. Roosevelt's Manhattan Project which was run by Doctor Robert Oppenheimer. He said the "Too Many Manhattans Project" run by Barnert Stinsonheimer made a few failures before resulting into a successful elixir that can cure hangovers with ingredients including Tantrum and Funyuns. The project was such a success that it was awarded the Brobel Prize. During the story-telling Barney keeps messing with Ted by shouting at his ear while he has a hangover. Category:Recurring Elements